


Just Regret

by carolinecrane



Series: surfing [3]
Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-06
Updated: 2012-05-06
Packaged: 2017-11-04 22:21:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/398842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinecrane/pseuds/carolinecrane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He should know better than anybody what it's like to feel that way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Regret

He's an idiot. Not that he hasn't done a lot of stupid things in his life, but this one…he's pretty sure this one takes the cake. It's not the kiss that bothers him – it's not even the way he panicked and tried to talk himself out of it as soon as it happened. That part he can deal with, because they work together and it's a bad idea to rush into anything without thinking it through. 

But the part that really bothers him, the part he's spent the past half hour kicking himself over, is the way he let Greg walk away without a word. He should have said…something – _anything_ – but he spent the entire walk back to the hotel trying to think of the right words and he's still drawing a blank. And the worst part is that he knows what would have happened if Greg was just some guy he'd met in a club. If they didn't know each other they'd be back in his room by now, clothes strewn from the door to the bed and Nick sure as hell wouldn't be staring at the ceiling wondering where he'd gone wrong.

Only he does know Greg, knows him well enough to be sure this isn't the kind of thing they can leave behind when they go back to Vegas. Maybe if it was somebody else he could just call it one of those things, a one-night stand that would make them a little awkward around each other for awhile, but eventually they'd forget it. But it's not just anybody; it's _Greg_ , Greg who lives his whole life with his heart on his sleeve, and Nick's always found that as terrifying as it is sexy.

There are a lot of reasons not to get involved with Greg. A thousand reasons that kiss never should have happened, and a thousand more telling him why he should just let it go. Just pretend it never happened, let Greg think whatever he wants and it might ruin their friendship, but maybe that would be for the best. Only that's not what he _wants_ , and that's why he can't figure out why he just let Greg walk away.

He's spent the past half hour trying to figure it out, gone over the kiss in his head until he can practically feel Greg's mouth against his, but he still hasn't come up with a reason why he didn't at least _try_ to fix it. Try to salvage their friendship, maybe, or just push Greg up against the nearest wall and kiss him again. 

That's what he wanted to do – what he should have done – and he's still not sure why he stopped himself. His stomach flutters every time he thinks it, fingers curled into tight fists against the mattress every time he remembers the way Greg just leaned in and…took. Like he'd been thinking about it for a long time, like this whole night was leading up to that one moment.

That one moment that Nick ruined in less than thirty seconds, and he's pretty sure that's a personal best. But he can't even laugh at his own stupid joke, because every time he remembers the look on Greg's face his fingers start to tremble all over again. 

He knows why. He's stupid, but he's not _that_ stupid, and he remembers how it was after Greg's accident. He remembers all the whispers, the rumors about Greg maybe not coming back, remembers the way Greg's hands shook those first few weeks and even though nobody talked about it, they were all thinking the same thing. Thinking maybe Greg couldn't do the job anymore, and even when he got better and got back to himself it was impossible to look at him and not remember.

And now…now he's learning to handle a gun and how to process a crime scene, and the field's not any safer than a DNA lab. A lot less safe, because they don't just have to worry about explosions out there. There are suspects with guns and there are weird chemicals, a hundred things that could go wrong on any given night. He never thought all that much about it, but now he's wondering if Greg's thought about it at all. If he thinks he's safer in the field or if he gets off on the danger.

It's impossible to think about Greg without thinking about the accident, but he has a feeling Greg just wants to forget it ever happened. That's what Nick would want – and he should know better than anybody what it's like to feel that way – but he can't shake the image of Greg on that stretcher, and later, with bandages covering his neck and hands shaking, and he knows that's what stopped him in the club.

Or maybe that's just what stopped him from going after Greg, because he knows if he'd followed Greg up to his room they would have picked up right where they left off. Greg might have made him work for it, but not for long and then Nick would be in Greg's bed right now instead of his own, alone and feeling like an idiot and knowing that whatever Greg's thinking about him now, he's right.

But that's one thing he's sure of; Greg _is_ thinking about him, and before he can stop himself he's halfway across the room and shoving his room key in his pocket. He doesn't give himself time to think before he's out the door, two doors down to Greg's room. And it's late, but Greg opens the door almost as soon as he knocks, wide awake and expectant like he's been waiting for Nick to show up.

He doesn't move out of the way to let Nick in, doesn't really look all that thrilled to see Nick, but he's not slamming the door and that's something. It's enough, and Nick's talking before he even figures out what he's going to say. "So what do we do about this?"


End file.
